December 30, 2007

Return to Nesting

This weekend is a very special time for me. Not because of New Year's--that's nice and all, but eh. No, what's significant about this time is that as of this past Thursday, it has been eighteen months since we moved into our current apartment. I know, that doesn't seem all that exciting. But it is. And here's why:

This is the first time in ten years that I've lived somewhere for that long without moving.

Seriously. Ten years. Since March of 1998, I've been moving with such regularity that it's amazing I didn't just buy an RV and move into it. I'd like to present a log of my moves over the last ten years, so that you can all see just how crazy it's been. I'd also like to point out that while, yes, all college students move between home and school every year, my situation was a bit different. That's because after the summer after my freshman year, I lost my bedroom. My brother moved into it, my things were... well, not there anymore, and when I was at home, I was sleeping in either my dad's office or a den. That means that for the entirety of college, all of the belongings I wanted access to were with me at college. I didn't leave clothes at home, I didn't leave keepsakes at home, I either boxed them up and stored them, or moved them at the beginning and end of every school year. That said, here we go:

  • March 1998: from Plymouth, where I'd lived for 12 years, to a house in St. Louis Park
  • August 1999: to an apartment in Toledo, Ohio, for college
  • October 1999: to a dorm at UToledo, because my apartment roommates were homophobic party girls who exploded my microwave and expected me to cover for them when the cops came a-knockin and they were drunk
  • May 2000: home! to my room, for the last time
  • August 2000: to a dorm in Oberlin, Ohio
  • June 2001: home! but... to my dad's office
  • August 2001: to a different dorm in Oberlin
  • January 2002: to another different dorm in Oberlin when I got a promotion that involved a move
  • April 2002: home, to my brother's abandoned room, when I had a nervous breakdown
  • August 2002: back to a dorm in Oberlin, the same one as the previous August
  • May 2003: graduation! off to an apartment in Hopkins, MN with Lauren
  • August 2004: wow, a record! over a year in one place! but now off to a dorm at Augsburg when I got an RD job
  • October 2004: hmmm, another promotion that involves moving to a new dorm...
  • January 2005: and another nervous breakdown that involves quitting and moving. this time to a fabulous apartment in Minneapolis near 50th & France
  • July 2005: sadly, we have to leave the great apartment when Lauren gets an RD job in, sigh, Oberlin
  • June 2006: and that was all the Oberlin we could handle. off to our new apartment in a res hall at the U of MN, where Lauren got a new job

And here we still are today. And here we will stay at least through June, if not for another year, depending on whether or not they move Lauren after this year.

All I care about is this--I have not had to pack, search for movers, pay movers, or tear my hair out about how to set up a NEW living space in 18 months. It's too bad this apartment isn't the most livable place and has no storage or closets... But it's still a wonderful feeling, to be in one place so long. It still doesn't feel like home. I guess maybe knowing that we could be moved any given year, combined with the fact that it's... well, a dorm, kind of means it might not ever feel like home. But it's still been nice to stay still.

And maybe that's why I've been looking for houses again lately, stalking edinarealty.com like a deranged person. Maybe that's why for the first time in a year and a half, I feel like I can look toward the future. Maybe feeling just a little bit more stable has been good for me and I can finally, finally relax enough to start feeling like I'm not running a marathon just to keep up with where life is taking us. It's a really nice feeling.

Posted to Minnesota & Nesting & Nostalgia & Oberlin at 06:54 PM | Comments (1)

August 14, 2007

Getting to know all about you...

Oops, I forgot to come back and post my answers to Carly's questions. Here they are, questions now, answers after the cut, and same thing applies as the last one if you want to be interviewed in return.

Carly's questions:

1. Is rabbinical school still on the table? Say more about that :-)
2. Think about yourself ten years ago. What advice would you give that Rebecca if you could?
3. What is it about Lauren that made you fall in love with her?
4. What's your favorite thing about yourself?
5. Do you think you'll stay in MN? If not, where would you like to go? And why?

1. Is rabbinical school still on the table? Say more about that :-)

Sigh. I covered that pretty thoroughly on my last post. If you want a new question, I will answer, otherwise, see below.


2. Think about yourself ten years ago. What advice would you give that Rebecca if you could?

In the words of the great Leila Green, "It's not that deep." No, actually, ten years ago today, I was preparing for my first trip to New York City, I was falling in love with my now-wife and trying to figure out if I would ever tell her so, I was seeing Rent on a weekly basis and had a community of fellow Rentheads who did the line with me overnight at the Ordway, and I was weeks away from entering the arts high school. My life was about the best it had been in almost ten whole years prior to that. And yet I was miserable. I don't know if anything I could go back and tell myself would change that much, though. Even telling myself to take it easy wouldn't have helped. So maybe what I'd say is, "You're no diferent from everyone else in your pain, but you're very different from everyone else in ways you don't even understand. And it just doesn't matter, so try to connect with people instead of thinking you're so alone." Sigh. Very emo of me, huh? But I was a pretty miserable 16 year old and I could have stood to hear it.


3. What is it about Lauren that made you fall in love with her?

You know, it's kinda hard to say. It's been ten years, and neither of us are the same people we were then, honestly. I truly think it was one of those situations where we were just right together. There were a lot of circumstances, too, that really makes it hard to say what first made me fall in love with her. But I do know the things that make me still love her as much right now as I did then. I love her cheerfulness, and the way nothing can ever really get her down for long. I love the way she draws people in and makes them want to talk to her. I love that she can eavesdrop on strangers and then cut into their conversations, and rather than getting mad, they get excited to talk to her. I love that she's intensely optimistic but often assumes or expects the worst--that kind of contradiction is endearing to me. I love that she would put other people first to an extent so ridiculous that I think she deserves someone who would do the same (I would not, I admit) just so that someone puts her first all the time. I love that she cracks herself up in her sleep. I love that even when she has no idea what she's talking about, she'll find something to say. I love that she loves my family and tries really hard to understand what it means to be a sibling to my brothers. I love that she can be righteously indignant in one moment and then have let it go and be laughing or grumbling or who knows what in the next. I love that she's patient with me when I can't be with myself. And I love that even though she would probably be the last person to say this about herself, there is no challenge that she isn't up for.


4. What's your favorite thing about yourself?

You know, you kinda stumped me here. Not because there's nothing I like about myself, but because all the things that I like about myself are ultimately problematic, because they're the things that don't really fit well into The World. So I guess my favorite thing is the way my brain works. I feel like sometimes I see things that other people don't see. Now granted, I don't see 90% of what most other people do, and that's hard, and it's hard to never be able to explain myself, but I like the world that my head is in. I like the way everything makes sense and I like the way I come at trying to figure out the things that don't make sense. It makes it really really hard to live in a world with people who I can't explain myself to, but to me, it's a really comfortable place to be and I like how I think.


5. Do you think you'll stay in MN? If not, where would you like to go? And why?

I'd like to think so. This is home. Despite my feelings about the Jewish community here, it has everything else going for it. I would hate to be without a communal spiritual life for the rest of my life, but compared with what I'd be giving up elsewhere, I'll take it. That said, where would I go? Well, do you know of any cities that are as full of greenery and lakes as this one and have a gay population who's more distributed than concentrated and has a lot of theatre and other artistic stuff going on, and is considered to be in a liberal area? Probably not.

Places I might consider though... Western Massachusetts still, I really did like Northampton even though I didn't feel cool enough to be there, but I really would rather be near a city about the size of Minneapolis. Decatur, GA still intrigues me although it seems that once you're outside of the actual little tiny main part of the city, it could be Any Suburb. Lauren wants to consider Denver. I've never been, but it's someplace that's always interested me. Same applies to Santa Fe. I'd consider cities like Boston, Providence, Baltimore, and DC. I liked Oakland, CA a lot. And Orlando has the bonus of Disney World being right there. Realistically, though, unless my parents move somewhere else... no, I don't really want to move away from here again.

Posted to Lauren & Mental Health & Minnesota & Miscellaneous & Nostalgia at 12:37 PM | Comments (4)

October 01, 2006

MY BOYS RULE!!!!!

THE TWINS ARE THE 2006 CENTRAL DIVISION CHAMPS AND I WAS THERE TO SEE IT!!!!!!!

We're off to Kol Nidre services now, but expect a gushing entry tonight when I get home!! For now I'll just say that I love the Twins, I love Minnesota, and I love the positive spirit of the people here who cheer people on instead of bashing the opponents!

Posted to Minnesota at 04:47 PM | Comments (0)

September 22, 2006

For one brief shining moment...

I admit it, early in the season, I gave up on the Twins. As soon as the Tigers pulled into a large, freakish lead, I stopped paying attention. It was such a bizarre experience to see the Tigers leading the central division that I gave up any hope that the Twins could ever overcome a 14 win gap, especially with the White Sox slightly ahead of the Twins.

And then the other day, for the first time this season, the Tigers' name was not at the top of the division standings list, and the Twins' name WAS.

Ok, so they weren't actually leading the division. And it only lasted about an hour until the Tigers won their next game...

But I have hope. I have hope that the Twins will find their way to that spot again. They just needed the motivation of seeing their name at the top.

And best of all, I'll be there for their last game of the season, letting them know how proud I am of them for making it to the playoffs.

Posted to Minnesota at 10:11 AM | Comments (0)

July 10, 2006

BSC + Minneapolis = love

It's been about three months since I began my quest to read every single BSC book in order. Instead of reading them all in one weekend, I've been taking my sweet time. I don't know what I was thinking; there's no way I could do nothing but read these books nonstop for three days. The later books are horrible!

Tonight I got to Super Special #14, BSC in the USA, wherein the club members go on a cross-country road trip. My ritual for reading Super Specials is to begin by looking through the book at all the pictures, and when I did that for this book, I saw Mary Anne and an older woman sitting on a carnival type ride. Using my AMAZING powers of deduction, I reasoned that the woman next to her must be her grandmother, who lives in Iowa. And on the page next to that picture was the word "mall." A mall near Iowa with rides in it?

THE BSC GOES TO MINNEAPOLIS! It looks like they only stop off at the Metrodome and the Mall of America, which is not what I would portray to young readers if I was going to write about Minneapolis, but still... How did I not know about this before??

I'm so psyched to start reading.

Posted to Books & Minnesota at 08:07 PM | Comments (1)

June 27, 2006

No longer homeless

We're all moved. All our stuff is here. We've showered here. We've eaten here. We've made the bed. We officially live here.

There are a lot of good things about this apartment, but the best one is that some girls just walked by our apartment talking at a normal volume and I could barely hear them. In Fairkid, it would have sounded like they were screaming RIGHT IN MY EAR.

I'm happy to be here.

Posted to Minnesota at 11:47 PM | Comments (3)

June 06, 2006

We're here. Call us.

So much for updating every day in the month of June. But to be fair, my computer access is pretty limited right now. My dad got a wireless router, so I thought I'd get to be online more often, but for some reason the network doesn't want to assign us an IP, so we haven't been able to use it so far.

It feels like we've been here for weeks already. We arrived surprisingly un-tired around 8:30 central on Saturday, spent Sunday shopping for couches for our new apartment and at a movie with Carly, and then spent yesterday lying around trying not to get heat stroke before joining Carly again to celebrate her birthday. I don't know why it feels like we've been here for so long, but it does.

We have very few things lined up for the next several weeks. My youngest brother graduates from high school in two days, and we're seeing Stuart and Mary on Friday. Other than that, nothing. If we can get used to this heat, maybe we'll actually do some of our favorite Minneapolis things, like outdoor jazz concerts and drives around the lakes and patio dining and reading in the park.

In the meantime, I'm trying to convince Lauren that we should pick up and go to Italy this weekend. Good way to kill time.

Posted to Minnesota at 11:20 AM | Comments (0)

May 15, 2006

Motivation to pack

There are a lot of reasons I'm looking forward to our next living situation--among them are less noise, a chance to get back to work, seeing friends and family--but today, the biggest thing on my mind is that we'll have a freezer big enough for me to keep ice cubes around. Really. That's the thing I'm rejoicing about today.

I can't imagine a summer of homemade iced tea without ice cubes.

Posted to Minnesota at 12:42 PM | Comments (2)

May 09, 2006

I've got the all clear

There are certain secrets I'm really good at keeping, and others that I can't keep to save my life. Any secret that is told to me with the mandate "you can never ever tell anyone" are safe. I try to get clear on whether or not I can tell Lauren (unless she's the one who told me), and then I lock that information away in my brain. I even manage not to think much about it.

But secrets that are only temporary, secrets with future release dates... No good. If I know that the information I have will get out at a later date, I have to completely remove myself from all human contact in order to keep my mouth shut.

So that's why no entry for the last week. It was partly because we were at my parents' house, and I didn't really want to tie up either of my parents' computers for very long. It was partly because I was actually pretty busy over the weekend, seeing the city that I love and a few people who I love, too. But mostly, it was because I had a time-sensitive secret that I just KNEW I wouldn't be able to not talk about if I tried to post here.

But today I've been officially given permission to post this at will.

We're moving home! Lauren got offered a job at the University of Minnesota as a Residence Director and she accepted. We'll be moving into her first-year hall in late June.

And as the icing on the cake, the Twin Cities' first Trader Joe's opens later this month.

I'm a very happy girl. And now, after 3 months of trying NOT to talk about Lauren's job search here, I can resume posting regularly.

Posted to Minnesota at 08:35 PM | Comments (6)

March 22, 2006

Dar Williams is the right music choice for today's mood

My horoscope for this week begins, "It's the Introspection Season, Capricorn." Since when do I, of all people, need permission or prompting to be introspective?

Being home this week has been absolutely what I needed right now. I think I'm probably about 100 times crazier than I was when I arrived, but instead of feeling dead on my feet, I feel like life has been breathed back into me. The question is whether this is because I'm with my family in a familiar place or because I'm away from Oberlin and have purpose in my life. A week ago, that question wouldn't have mattered because all future plans would have included both of those things. Now that's less certain, but then again, that uncertainty may be part of what has enlivened me.

Wow, I sound like I'm talking in code. Let's just say I feel crazy, but better.

I've spent this entire week doing nothing but going to Home Depot and granite suppliers and visiting family, and it's been good. I have a lot to think about, and more to say, but right now, my wife is finally home, and I have a whole two hours to myself before I go out to dinner with my grandparents, so I'm going to go chill out a little bit before I get thrown back to the wolves in Oberlin tomorrow. I promise an update that makes more sense once I'm back there.

Posted to Mental Health & Minnesota at 03:27 PM | Comments (1)

March 05, 2006

I bet you didn't expect an entry like this from me.

One of the top headlines in the Star Tribune for most of the day today has been Kirby Puckett's stroke. I've been checking regularly for any updates, although there really haven't been many. For the most part, the stories have been more about people's reactions and prayers.

I'm not big on praying for people, but I gotta admit that I'm keeping him in my thoughts. I can't speak for any other kids growing up in Minnesota around the same time I did, but Kirby Puckett was a pretty major part of my childhood. I was almost 7 during the 1987 World Series, and almost 11 during the 1991 series, and Kirby Puckett was a total star in my eyes. I was always into baseball, but I've never been interested in knowing players' names or stats. I knew that the Twins had Kent Hrbek, Chuck Knoblauch, Greg Gagne, Gene Larkin, and Rick Aguilera, but I just didn't care. Kirby Puckett, though, was another story. He was my baseball hero.

I couldn't tell you, for the life of me, what his stats were, what part he played in the series wins, or even his number. But I loved to watch him every time. I loved his homeruns. I loved him in the outfield. I loved how they said his name. If you don't believe me, I can dig out the cassette tape I made in first grade when I was home with the chicken pox during the World Series. In the middle of a tape of songs about Barbie and not scratching my pox was an entire song about my love for the Twins, especially Kirrrrrrrrrrrby Puckett!

He's the only professional athlete I've ever cared about. I was devastated when that sexual harrassment case came up a few years ago (in fact, it's completely verboten to bring that up in our household). He's my childhood sports hero, and the reason I collected baseball cards and loved Twins games all through elementary and middle school. He's only 44, and I really and truly hope he's able to make it through this stroke and surgery and recover fully. I'm sure he's got a lot of people pulling for him, but it sure couldn't hurt to add me to the list.

Posted to Minnesota & Nostalgia at 11:30 PM | Comments (1)

November 15, 2005

Maybe my visit with my family next week will fill some of my need...

I'm nesting again. I mean, it's not like I ever STOP nesting, but I'm back to constantly thinking about nothing but babies, home ownership, babies, dogs, and babiesbabiesbabies.

I think I've spent the majority of my sickbed time at Edina Realty looking at houses in Minnesota. Houses that we could afford tomorrow. Houses I think we could afford if I get a job. Houses I hope we can afford 10 years from now. Houses we would never, ever be able to afford. Houses for my parents. Houses in neighborhoods I love. Houses in neighborhoods I could deal with. I also look at Craigslist every day to see what there is to rent and what there is to buy.

I even spent several hours redecorating my grandparents' house in my head when I couldn't sleep the other night.

My mom is on board, too. She finds houses and sends them to me. She sent me this gorgeous thing that's way outside of a price we can afford even if I work. And she sent me this one that's way above our price range but beautiful.

I've also had the TV on a lot while I've been sick, but I haven't been watching. However, whenever a baby pops up, my head automatically turns toward the TV so fast that I get whiplash. And I've taken a billion of those indicators that tell you what breed of dog to get. I was already in love with tiny black cockapoos, but I'm now in love with the Yorkipoo as well. I'm naming them in my head.

At this point, I've lost track of where I'm going with this. Just... Please give me a house, a puppy, and a baby?

Posted to Minnesota & Nesting at 12:08 PM | Comments (4)

September 04, 2005

That's really what a normal Sunday was like two months ago.

This morning when Lauren and I woke up, we planned out a wonderful day for ourselves. We decided we'd start with our favorite brunch at Redstone, the place where I discovered cream cheese scrambled eggs and the best french toast ever made and mimosas. After that, we thought a drive around the lakes might be nice, with a stop at Caribou to visit Carly. Then we'd stop home, grab a book or two, and lie out in the park near our house on 50th and read and watch the little kiddies play. Then, we decided, we'd go to my parents' house and visit for a little while and play with our doggie. We'd finish our day with dinner at Tucci Benucch (mmm, gorgonzola crusted filet medallions...) and finally, dessert at the Crema Cafe, where I'd have either cabernet chip or olive oil and fleur de sel ice cream. The TV would never get turned on, we'd drive with the windows open, we'd see all our favoritest people, and we'd love the city that is home for us.

And then we remembered that we're in Ohio.

And that even though the high today is only 77 and it's like the FIRST SUNNY DAY since we got here over a month ago, Lauren has to sit at home all day and be available just in case an upperclass returning student who moves in today has any questions. And that the window in our living room doesn't even OPEN if we were so crazy as to want to breath the air in Ohio (that smells like cabbage, skunks, manure, or sulfur at all times).

I miss home so much. I didn't think it would be this hard, but it is.

Posted to Minnesota at 11:54 AM | Comments (2)

August 29, 2005

"There's no place like home, there's no place like home..."

Yesterday I told Lauren that sometimes, I feel like the last two years at home were all a dream. Like I went home at the end of my senior year, stayed for the summer, and now now I'm back. Our wedding seems real, but nothing else does. Am I really sure I didn't dream Stuart and Mary's wedding? Am I positive that I have my masters degree? Was I really a full-time employee for a short period of time? It all seems like it didn't really happen. It's a frightening feeling, and I just can't shake it, especially as the town fills up with students. Kind of like I'm in Flight of the Navigator or something.

It's very confusing. So I'll move on.

SaraB got home yesterday. from her year in Japan+month of traveling. She's in Minnesota, so it's not like I'll get to see her, but I'm glad we'll get to talk more often. Like each of my other friends, there's a part of me that only Sara understands. I sent her a welcome home email and I'm going to wait for her to catch up on sleep before I bombard her with a phone call (breaking out that calling card), but I'm really excited to talk to her again.

Excited enough to post embarrassing teenage pictures.

Sara and me on Shabbat at Herzl in 1995:

Me and Sara at play practice for Sound of Music in 1996:

That's all I have to say today. Aren't you glad I spiced it up with pictures?

Posted to Minnesota & Nostalgia at 09:53 AM | Comments (0)