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January 16, 2008

no other road, no other way, no day but today

I promised myself I wasn't going to turn this website (I'm sorry, I still can't stay blog, but you can feel free) into some big personal tribute to Broadway or musicals in general. I've resisted posting that thesis I mentioned on how a weak show like Wicked could be so well liked. I've resisted making a list of why Julia Murney, Emily Skinner, and Alice Ripley are three of the most amazing women ever and linking to everything and anything about them on the web. I haven't even written about how Patti LuPone played a major influencing part on my young life before I even knew she was a Broadway star (Life Goes On, anyone?). But today I have something Broadway related to write about, and I'm going to, because hopefully even people who aren't musical fans will kind of get it.

Rent is closing on Broadway. Its last show will be June 1st. That gives it a run of just over 12 years, and over 5000 shows. And I have such mixed feelings right now.

The thing is--and I think most people already know this about me--I was one of those RENTheads. I was one of the teenagers who wore out her CDs. When the first national touring company opened, St. Paul was the second city it came to. That was the summer of 1997, and I was sixteen and deep into the angst of being a misunderstood, recently out, depressed, idealistic teenager. I lived and breathed Rent. I spent the majority of that summer camped out on the front sidewalk of the Ordway with a sleeping bag, surrounded by familiar faces, waiting for my front row, $20 tickets. I met some amazing new friends because of Rent. I met the girl I dated that summer because of Rent. And she, in turn, introduced me to the woman who is now my wife.

From 1997 to 1999, I saw Rent in seven cities (mainly by accident--but if I was on a vacation or traveling for some reason and Rent was passing through, I saw it). I've seen the show well over thirty times. I've lost track. I knew certain cast members well enough that by the end of the summer of 1997, they knew me by name, and when I'd see them on tour in other cities, they remembered me. Two of my friends and I got to go backstage to use the bathroom when we were in line overnight and explored a little more than we should have. I own one-of-a-kind memorabilia. When I went to New York for the first time, I did a Rent tour that involved eating at the Life Cafe and buying a t-shirt there. I had my own fansite. I even tried to watch La Boheme. I traded bootleg tapes in the mail, because cassettes were the only way people were recording at the time. I collected video clips of anything on TV with 'my' cast. And the message of Rent was everything to me.

Now, that said, I will admit that I haven't been to see the show in years. The last time I went was because I had a friend who had never been and we took a chance and did the lottery and got tickets. The last several times I saw it, I didn't enjoy it at all. The characterizations seem to have become slightly cartoonish over the years as certain funny understated things the original cast did have become standard and therefore exaggerated. I don't know if all the cast really seems to understand the message anymore, whereas early casts always seemed to be made up of raggedy barely-making-it young actors who were almost living the story. It doesn't have the same emotional punch or impact for me anymore, although if I sit still and listen to the original cast recording, I remember why it changed my life. But the show itself hasn't felt like much of anything to me in a long time, and the movie... yes, I own it--how could a girl with a carefully preserved plastic box of Rent memorabilia not own it?--but I don't watch it. The movie fell flat for me.

So I have mixed feelings about this show closing. In a way, it feels like a door slamming on a time that brought me together with new people, that made me feel a part of something bigger than myself, that gave me hope when I truly wasn't sure if there was any point to anything at all. It's the end of an era, to me. When it first opened, I remember thinking it was going to someday be the longest running show on Broadway (it made it to seventh, which is something anyway, but still). It always kind of made me feel good to know that if Lauren and I ever wanted to see the show that was essentially the reason we met, we could, at any time. But it's not what it used to be, and maybe its time is over. I truly believe it'll be revived someday. I think we're going to start seeing some amazing regional productions that are complete reinterpretations. And it'll be hard and sad, not seeing that metal Christmas tree or not seeing that lit up little "loft", but that doesn't mean those reinterpretations won't be great too.

But I guess... I'm disappointed, maybe just a little devastated... but I think maybe it's okay. I hope I can see it once more, either in New York this spring, or this summer when it comes back to St. Paul as it has every year since its initial run here. But I think... maybe it was time. If it's not having the impact it once did... then it did its job, and it's time to make room for something new. I hope something else comes along in my lifetime that makes that kind of impact. But the only way to find out is to make way, right? So for once in my life, I'm going to let go of something in a timely manner. And maybe prove to myself that the world won't implode if I don't cling to something a little too long.

Then again--check back with me come July when I'm freaking out about how Rent has died. By then, it may be an entirely different story.

Posted to Nostalgia at 12:21 PM | Comments (2)

January 10, 2008

2008: The Linkage Continues

Links, oh links. I have too many. I'm a bookmarking fool. I can't stop and I don't know why. No, that's not true--I'm a hoarder. I've had this obsessive compulsive tendency since I was young. I've collected and hoarded many things over the years, from Bonnie Bell Lip Smackers (at one point I had every flavor in creation at that time--mint chocolate chip was my favorite, in case you're curious) to Things That I Could One Day Use For the Found Art Sculpture I Will Make When I Suddenly Become Artistic Enough To Sculpt Something. No joke. I've managed to get this behavior under control in my "real life". Books are now the only physical thing that I hoard, and even with those, I'm able to let a few go every now and then. So I figure it's okay to allow myself the indulgence of bookmarking Every. Damn. Thing. Online. And now I get to share a few of them. My favorite part.

• As long as I've already mentioned books, let's begin there. Not with any books themselves, but with Big Cozy Books, children's playroom and library furniture that looks like giant books. I'm sorry, children's? No. I would buy that for my own home NOW, had I the room. But I'll admit, as a child, if I had gotten to play on furniture like that, I would have been in heaven. Since I'm technically an "adult" (pshaw), I guess I'll have to settle for these gorgeous book coasters instead. You know, if I wasn't too cheap to spend money on coasters that were made of anything other than cork. But I can dream...

• However, for every awesome product out there, there are things that are incredibly pathetic, ridiculous, or painful. Like organic pancake batter in a spray can, or medicine cups with sugar on the rims, or MomSpit, a gentle no-rinse cleanser. Okay, I admit, MomSpit kinda makes me laugh. The other two make me sigh. I think those KidKupz people took Mary Poppins a little too seriously.

• There are a few products that I'd really like to own, though, that I'm sure other people would find stupid. For instance, I don't necessarily think it's cute, but since I can't steep a cup of tea correctly to save my life, I'd seriously consider buying this automatic tea timer... if I cared enough about my tea being right, that is. And because I have the world's smallest ears and can't use earbuds (they're too big for my ears--no joke, they won't fit), I'd buy these earbud covers. And... because when my brother and I were younger, we spent a great deal of time trying to "surf" underwater on a kickboard, I might want this underwater skateboard--or maybe the fun was that the kickboards wouldn't stay under and that would take the fun out. (I really don't expect anyone but my brother to find that last link amusing, but I had to include it.)

• I have no idea why I bookmarked this next one. I will never, ever take the time to do it. I'm only grateful that by sharing it here, I can delete the bookmark because I'll have the link preserved for eternity on deliciously. How to make clear (as opposed to cloudy) ice. It's interesting. It's easy enough. But dammit, I rarely care enough to fill the ice tray in general, let alone go through all those steps. But hey, just in case you were wondering, now you know how.

• So I recently mentioned that I've been obsessing about all things Broadway. This includes a miniscule (read: giant) love/hate crush on Kristin Chenoweth. That is, I have a crush on her, but I hate myself for it because in many ways, she seems... awful. But wonderful! Anyway, I remarked to my brother Koby (that would be Jake for those of you who I haven't updated) that this is the first time I've ever had a crush on a celeb who's shorter than me (she's 4'11"). His response was that there probably aren't a lot of celebs out there who are shorter than me (I'm 5'2 1/2", thank you). But I told him, aha, there are quite a few! Ani DiFranco, for one. Both Baby and Ginger Spice(s?). Punky Brewster. Janeane Garofalo (making me wrong about this being the first celeb crush who's shorter, because I was in love with her from age 14-17). Sara Gilbert. How did I know this? Thanks to the celebrity sizematcher, where you put in your height and get a list of the celebs who are the same height as you, shorter than you, and taller than you. So. In other words, a list of celebs' heights. Too bad Cheno (we're tight, I can call her that) isn't on there.

• I used to spend hoooooours playing sudoku online, but quite frankly, I got bored. So now I've turned to games that require less intelligence and result in more wanting to throw my laptop across the room. This game that I have taken to calling the stupid cat game is addictive. And ridiculous. I've played it about a billion times. But hey--I won it once, so now I can stop. Thank goodness. Or wait, maybe I'll go play it once more...

• Dammit! Didn't win. Okay, moving on. T-shirts. I stalk BustedTees and Gimmickwear and the like as much as anyone else, despite the fact that I have an irrational fear of wearing a graphic tee, offending someone, and being beaten up and thus do not own any. But I've found a few others that I'm in love with, from other websites, and would wear in a heartbeat if it were not for said fear keeping me up at night. The most perfect Excel-lovers shirt ever, especially considering I went through a two year phase of flatly adding "yo" at the end of every sentence I said, thinking myself funny. I'm sorry, by the way, for anyone who had to listen to me do that. And how about this shirt that I think probably accurately describes my feelings about my five years living in Ohio (sorry Mel C., if you read this). My favorite high school teacher spent the last 6 months of high school asking me, "Ohio??? REALLY???" Tory, you were right. I'm sorry. And, I'm very very late to the party here, but in my defense I've been away from this website for a long time, and I bookmarked this when it was still new. I could rant for a solid hour about the whole gay Dumbledore thing (wuss who wants extra publicity but wouldn't step up to the plate to use her fame to promote gay rights what?) but in any case, I did find these shirts sort of funny. The text on the page is even funnier. So. Yeah.

• I don't usually find ASCII pictures very interesting. Eh. You drew a picture with slashes. Go you. That's so 1995. Whatever. But if I can do it without doing any work at all? Now lazy, that's always cool. So I present to you the ASCII-o-matic. Upload a picture and it'll draw it for you. And while we're being a tad geeky, I really do want these earrings. They remind of the good old days before I gave in to Movable Type and used to hand code all my pages. Back when I had pride.

Okay, I normally aim for ten bullet points when I do this, but as I've been extremely long winded today, I think eight will suffice. I'm sorry for my ramblings, but I quite enjoyed myself. So there you have it. Welcome to 2008. Click some pointless links. Enjoy.

Posted to Links at 11:57 AM | Comments (0)