1. Is rabbinical school still on the table? Say more about that :-)

Sigh. I covered that pretty thoroughly on my last post. If you want a new question, I will answer, otherwise, see below.

2. Think about yourself ten years ago. What advice would you give that Rebecca if you could?

In the words of the great Leila Green, "It's not that deep." No, actually, ten years ago today, I was preparing for my first trip to New York City, I was falling in love with my now-wife and trying to figure out if I would ever tell her so, I was seeing Rent on a weekly basis and had a community of fellow Rentheads who did the line with me overnight at the Ordway, and I was weeks away from entering the arts high school. My life was about the best it had been in almost ten whole years prior to that. And yet I was miserable. I don't know if anything I could go back and tell myself would change that much, though. Even telling myself to take it easy wouldn't have helped. So maybe what I'd say is, "You're no diferent from everyone else in your pain, but you're very different from everyone else in ways you don't even understand. And it just doesn't matter, so try to connect with people instead of thinking you're so alone." Sigh. Very emo of me, huh? But I was a pretty miserable 16 year old and I could have stood to hear it.

3. What is it about Lauren that made you fall in love with her?

You know, it's kinda hard to say. It's been ten years, and neither of us are the same people we were then, honestly. I truly think it was one of those situations where we were just right together. There were a lot of circumstances, too, that really makes it hard to say what first made me fall in love with her. But I do know the things that make me still love her as much right now as I did then. I love her cheerfulness, and the way nothing can ever really get her down for long. I love the way she draws people in and makes them want to talk to her. I love that she can eavesdrop on strangers and then cut into their conversations, and rather than getting mad, they get excited to talk to her. I love that she's intensely optimistic but often assumes or expects the worst--that kind of contradiction is endearing to me. I love that she would put other people first to an extent so ridiculous that I think she deserves someone who would do the same (I would not, I admit) just so that someone puts her first all the time. I love that she cracks herself up in her sleep. I love that even when she has no idea what she's talking about, she'll find something to say. I love that she loves my family and tries really hard to understand what it means to be a sibling to my brothers. I love that she can be righteously indignant in one moment and then have let it go and be laughing or grumbling or who knows what in the next. I love that she's patient with me when I can't be with myself. And I love that even though she would probably be the last person to say this about herself, there is no challenge that she isn't up for.

4. What's your favorite thing about yourself?

You know, you kinda stumped me here. Not because there's nothing I like about myself, but because all the things that I like about myself are ultimately problematic, because they're the things that don't really fit well into The World. So I guess my favorite thing is the way my brain works. I feel like sometimes I see things that other people don't see. Now granted, I don't see 90% of what most other people do, and that's hard, and it's hard to never be able to explain myself, but I like the world that my head is in. I like the way everything makes sense and I like the way I come at trying to figure out the things that don't make sense. It makes it really really hard to live in a world with people who I can't explain myself to, but to me, it's a really comfortable place to be and I like how I think.

5. Do you think you'll stay in MN? If not, where would you like to go? And why?

I'd like to think so. This is home. Despite my feelings about the Jewish community here, it has everything else going for it. I would hate to be without a communal spiritual life for the rest of my life, but compared with what I'd be giving up elsewhere, I'll take it. That said, where would I go? Well, do you know of any cities that are as full of greenery and lakes as this one and have a gay population who's more distributed than concentrated and has a lot of theatre and other artistic stuff going on, and is considered to be in a liberal area? Probably not.

Places I might consider though... Western Massachusetts still, I really did like Northampton even though I didn't feel cool enough to be there, but I really would rather be near a city about the size of Minneapolis. Decatur, GA still intrigues me although it seems that once you're outside of the actual little tiny main part of the city, it could be Any Suburb. Lauren wants to consider Denver. I've never been, but it's someplace that's always interested me. Same applies to Santa Fe. I'd consider cities like Boston, Providence, Baltimore, and DC. I liked Oakland, CA a lot. And Orlando has the bonus of Disney World being right there. Realistically, though, unless my parents move somewhere else... no, I don't really want to move away from here again.