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July 18, 2006

owning up

Today I made my first real phone call since we moved back to Minnesota.

Yes, I've used the phone before today. I've returned calls, I've talked to a few people who have called me, and I've made logistical calls, like my call to the insurance people to find out my therapist is covered (which is quite apropos as an example, actually). But I have not just picked up the phone and called someone who I care about because I want to talk to them.

For the entire half hour before I called, all through the voicemail I left, and even now, I felt like throwing up. My heart is racing.

I think is a clear sign that something's very wrong with me. And the more frightening (and also encouraging) thing is that this is me feeling better. I'm going to focus on the part of that that's encouraging. Because I have to.

I'm not going to get into how horribly I've been doing for the last month and a half. Instead, I'm going to go pick up the phone and call someone else who deserves to hear from me after being very patient waiting for me to return her calls. Hopefully she's not too annoyed with me.

And I WILL keep feeling better and better.

Posted to Mental Health at July 18, 2006 02:05 PM

Comments

Posted by: deena at July 19, 2006 11:06 AM

Posted by: Rebecca at July 19, 2006 11:09 AM