« Everyone should go read Beggars in Spain. It's very good. | Main | This is a much better way to choose baby names than looking through a book. »

January 19, 2006

My other strengths are learner, competition, achiever, and intellection, by the way.

I'm trying very, very hard to let go of starting to PLAN our future kid-getting life. I've spent the last few months doing very abstract research, participating in a conceiving/pregnancy/parenting board, reading personal websites (I'm sorry, I think I'm allergic to the word blog), and skimming pregnancy books. I've looked through a sperm bank's files. I've spent too much time at Name Voyager and have an actual list of names that I not only like, but would actually bestow upon a child. I've learned all about the panel of Ashkenazi heritage genetic tests.

The thing is, there's not much more I can do between now and the actual time when we start trying to start our family, which we estimate to be any time from a year and a half to three years from now. I'm doing everything I can. I've recommitted to getting healthy and losing weight, and I'm keeping an eye out for jobs, since those are two of the three major things that need to be in a row for us to start. But there's nothing else I can do.

And honestly, I need to back off a little. It's only fun to research what kind of potential sperm donors are out there for so long before it starts getting... stupid. I mean, that's what it's come to. This is all stupid. We have a plan for what needs to be in place before we start. I have a plan for what I need to do to get to that spot as well as what I need to do once we get there. What more can I do? Nothing. And if I haven't driven Lauren crazy already, I'm surprised, because even I am starting to get annoyed at myself.

This is just who I am. I like to take action (activator is my number three strength, after all), and when I can't take action, I like to have a plan for action.

But what do you do when the (loose and flexible) plan is in place, but it's not time to start acting yet?

Posted to Nesting at January 19, 2006 11:21 AM

Comments

You can day-dream :) I think that the best thing to do is to know that you are waiting so that you can make the best life possible for you and wee baby. The things you are putting in place now will (hopefully) give you more security and allow you to have the life you want, and to give that wee person all the resources they need to grow and thrive.

And thank you so, so much for the Born Yogis book! I love it. I have to get to the post office to get some new stamps to send you a card, but I wanted to let you know I got it. :)

Posted by: Becky at January 19, 2006 12:08 PM

if you want an ugly, whiny baby, i'll donate.

Posted by: brad at January 19, 2006 12:21 PM

Thanks for the support, Becky. Given that you're steadily employed, own a home, and have a baby on the way -- all the things I really crave -- your support means that much more. And yea! I'm glad you liked the book!

Brad, we'll keep that in mind. ;)

Posted by: Rebecca at January 19, 2006 03:55 PM