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October 26, 2005
oy.
I feel at a loss for words. I've felt very voiceless lately, and I'm not entirely sure why. So instead of trying to get in touch with whatever, I'm going to give a rundown of whatever I can think of and hope that writing it out helps me feel more comfortable with this and gets me back here later on to say something for real.
The main thing on my mind these days is money. Every time I think I have a reasonable plan set for our household, something HUGE comes up that I don't know how to deal with that makes me wonder if we can even afford a roll of paper towels. I get that financial extremism from my dad. At least I come by it naturally and it's not some sort of weird thing I made up all on my own.
Three particular finanical hardships are stressing me out this week, along with the ever-looming "we'll never have enough money to buy a house." First, I booked a ticket home for Thanksgiving that cost a lot more than I would normally pay for a plane ticket. It was still reasonably low ($222), but it stressed me out. Then I realized I'll have to pay for my visit to my therapist while I'm home because she's not in my network and I'm not on my parents' insurance anymore. So there goes another $120.
And then the biggie. I found out that my dad and I had a miscommunication and I actually have $10,000 in student loans that I thought were paid off and are not. Oh, and we found out that Lauren's student loan payments are going to double next month.
I'm SO sick of hearing the phrase, "We'll take it out of savings; that's what it's for," come out of my own mouth. Our savings is minimal. It's money that should have gone toward Lauren's student loans, but we decided that since the interest rate on her loans is lower than the amount of interest we make in that account, we should keep it there for now.
But on top of all these things, we have "luxuries" to pay for. We applied for a birthright trip, which is free, but we have to pay for our transportaion to New York, all kinds of supplies (like luggage, hiking boots, etc.), and any spending money while we're there. We just rejoined Weight Watchers, which means spending money on groceries instead of eating at the dining hall (not that we were really eating there anyway).
Ugh, I'm a mess. And all I want is a house and a baby.
Ok, this definitely did NOT make me want to write more. I just feel worse. Let's try again.
Speaking of rejoining Weight Watchers, I'm putting More for Less back up. I spent the last day trying to replicate the layout on Movable Type, but it's not going to happen. I don't miss hand-coding the entries (never thought I'd say that) and dealing with FTP, but I think I'm going to leave it as is...
Ok, I'm done. This is getting stupid.
Posted to Miscellaneous at October 26, 2005 11:22 AM
Comments
My dad says that the only reason you should ever feel bad about spending money is if you're wasting it on stuff you don't need.
All the things that you're using your hard-earned savings for are things that will improve your life (going home, striving for a healthier lifestyle, paying off debts, etc). I know that it makes the financial situation strained, but you're still making ends meet! I mean, there'll be short term ups and downs, times when you'll be a little ahead and times when maybe you can't buy the cushy 3-ply toilet paper, but overall, it seems to me that you guys are moving forward and improving the quality of your lives. Although more money would certainly help, I think that this is more important than having money and not using it the way that you are.
Posted by: Carn at October 26, 2005 01:08 PM
I think you're right, and it's definitely good to remember that philosophy. The problem arises, however, when it's hard to decipher what's necessary and what's frivolous. Going home for Thanksgiving... Well, I miss my family, but I WILL see them in February at my cousin's b'nai mitzvot. Going to Israel is wonderful, and perhaps important in the long run, but does it need to be now, when we're so strapped for cash? What about refurbishing the dollhouse my grandfather made me? I've been wanting to do that for a year, but it keeps getting put on hold. And do we NEED to cook at home so much or should we just try to eat healthier at the dining hall?
I do appreciate your input though. It was helpful to remind me that I need to reframe this in my head. I just can't help being stressed about it right now.
Posted by: Rebecca at October 26, 2005 02:42 PM
It never seems to work out according to budget, does it? I always get into a panic when this happens.
any chance of a coffee or a drink whilst you are in old mn?
take care of yourself
Posted by: Devin at October 26, 2005 03:24 PM