« Remember in July, when I had no neighbors? | Main | I wish I could join... »

October 02, 2005

Chag Sameach, and L'shanah Tovah! (a day early)

I'm back from the dead!

It would seem that I'm actually recovering from being sick. I have to say that I'm really glad about this. I've been sick for over a week now, with Thursday through Saturday being those "death, please come and take me now to relieve me of my misery" days. Today I was able to drag my ass out of bed and go to my Hebrew class, and although it sapped me of all my energy for the day, I'm feeling a lot better.

I attribute this SOLELY to the six bowls of entirely homemade Jewish chicken soup that Lauren prepared. And for those who will ask why I say "Jewish chicken soup" instead of just "chicken soup", I'll supply Lauren's answer -- Jewish chicken soup is made with just the right amount of guilt and love.

I'm especially glad that I'm feeling better in time for Rosh Hashanah. I'm so nervous about going to a new synagogue for services on Tuesday, but I'm looking forward to this new year. For me, even as a person who thinks the concept of January 1st as New Year's Day is a complete piece of garbage, this Rosh Hashanah is going to be very meaningful. It marks the start of the first official year of my life that I am wholly and firmly committed to a Jewish identity separate from that of my family's and the first year that I will be pursuing the vocation that calls to me.

I think anyone who knows me well knows that I'm not big on holidays. As a rule, the only thing I like about them is family togetherness, and as my family has shrunk (and gotten crazier), even the joy in that has dwindled. In fact, I'm thrilled that I won't be in Minnesota for the high holidays this year. My parents aren't going to services and my family isn't even doing Break Fast or dinner for Rosh Hashanah, and I don't think I could take that if I was there. I've always hated the fourth of July and New Year's, and I'm a regular grinch when it comes to Christmas. Thanksgiving is the only holiday I've ever liked, and I'm perfectly willing to admit that that is almost solely because of my love of turkey and my great aunt's rice that I only got to eat once a year as a kid.

When it comes to Jewish holidays, though, I've always been a little more excitable. I love Pesach, or at least I did until my family seders became... rough sketches of a seder, to put it kindly. As a kid, Purim was intimidating but thrilling. Even Tisha B'Av meant something to me if I was at camp. And of course, Shabbat at camp was unparalleled. I guess the sense of history and community behind Jewish holidays has always been meaningful to me.

So I'm excited to make an official start to my new year. I've finally, FINALLY given myself permission to be Jewish in my own way. This is going to be a great Tishrei for me, I think.

Posted to Jew-mania at October 2, 2005 11:42 PM

Comments

You know, with Laura and I getting married, I feel as though I've come to peace with the way I'm Jewish too.

Posted by: Mir at October 3, 2005 03:58 PM

Good for you, Mir! Your spirituality & religiousness is yours alone, and I'm glad you feel comfortable with it.

The rabbi here at Oberlin told me that Jews who are liberal seem to almost be born with a complex that makes them feel like they're not Jewish enough, and that we have to let that go. We ARE Jewish enough. Even though you aren't what a traditional synagogue would call Jewish, if you feel Jewish in any way, then you are, in exactly the way that you think you are.

Posted by: Rebecca at October 3, 2005 04:11 PM

L'Shana Tova, Pie! :)

It's kind of funny, but exciting, reading about your journey as you claim your Jewish identity. As I've grown up, my Jewish-ness has become less and less a part of me - although I still feel a tremendous affinity and affection for the culture and rituals. I have nothing but the utmost of admiration for where you're headed. Just so's ya know. ;)

Posted by: Jenny at October 4, 2005 05:05 PM