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September 03, 2005

I think I dreamt about royal flushes last night

Oh my god, I'm a poker addict.

I started watching Celebrity Poker Showdown with my dad about a year ago. Actually, I think the first time may have been the night before my wedding. Whatever the date, I was escaping a family celebration in the community room of my parents' condo by spending a little time in their home, and that's what my dad was watching. I like my daddy-daughter bonding time, and I admit that I get a little thrill out of feeling like one of the guys sometimes. I was one of the guys in high school, but since then, I've somehow become a GIRL again.

So anyway, it all started out innocently enough. I watched with my dad, asking the appropriate questions about what the HELL was going on. It was my first exposure to Texas Hold 'Em, and, to be honest, the first time in years that I didn't cry when I heard the word poker. As a kid, I learned how to play 5 Card Stud, but panicked whenever I was forced to make a decision about betting. That was way too much pressure. This was much simpler; all I had to do was WATCH famous people play poker. And the entire concept of community cards sits very well with my obsession with fairness.

Fast forward to maybe February... By then, I was pausing for up to ten minutes on Bravo whenever I was channel surfing, but I was still plagued with the sense that I'd never ever understand how to play. The show was amusing enough, though, that my interest remained.

Skip ahead to April. By that time, I was actually watching entire episodes by myself and fully understanding what the hell was going on. I knew enough to understand when someone had a good hand, but I was still muddy on some of the finer points. I started making Lauren watch the show, and she didn't try to murder me in my sleep because of that, which only reinforced my interest.

And for the last month, I've been here in Oberlin with very little to do. Celebrity Poker Showdown (still the only poker show I can watch -- the pros are BORING) is on every day, and any time it's an episode that I haven't seen, I watch it. I started visiting some websites that explained which hands were good to call before the flop and which were garbage. I started feeling comfortable using the word "flop" ("turn" and "river" still give me the shakes; I hate lingo) and actually found myself watching episodes of the show and yelling at the TV like I do when I watch baseball or soccer.

A few days ago, I decided I was ready. I started simply, on Yahoo games. Free, no downloading involved, and clearly for beginners. After playing there for two days, I was annoyed. People never stay for more than one hand and no one knew what they were doing. I decided to take a chance. I DOWNLOADED some poker software, the one recommended by my new god, Phil Gordon. I even have a page bookmarked in my main favorites folder (an honor held only by pages accessed daily, like the weather and my bank's website) on strategies for winning.

And so the last several days have found me sitting endlessly at the computer playing Texas Hold 'Em on the Full Tilt Poker software. I'm not bad! I got myself up from the starting $1000 to $5000 in two days playing with low limits, and that's even WITH my completely inability to fold a hand before the flop and my tendency to play two pair till the end every time.

And I can't stop. Thank goodness I'm smart enough to never EVER play with real money (we can only afford free pastimes, remember?). Because I'm ridicuous. I love this stupid game. Maybe more than I love hot women. Less than I love babies, but more than hot women.

And that's a lot.

Posted to Mindless Entertainment at September 3, 2005 01:48 PM

Comments

Posted by: brad at September 4, 2005 11:30 AM

Posted by: Rebecca at September 5, 2005 09:39 AM

Posted by: brad at September 5, 2005 10:07 AM