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September 11, 2005
And I thought Ohio was boring!
Today in the car I started thinking about what a nice weekend Lauren and I had had and how it would make such a nice journal entry. A refreshingly positive entry about how nice it is to have my wife around and all the fun stuff we did.
After tonight, I have a whole new entry to write. And it takes precedence.
Tonight Lauren and I decided to end our wonderful weekend by having dinner at this restaurant in a ridiculously opportunistic shopping area in a nearby Cleveland suburb. We chose the restaurant because of its sidewalk patio dining and then waited nearly an hour to get an outdoor table.
The night's events started innocently enough. Out of nowhere, a very drunk girl wearing a Browns jersey, a denim miniskirt, and cowboy boots ran across the street (if you could call a very fast stumble a run) clutching the arm of some guy and sobbing. Loudly. Before I even had a chance to ask Lauren if she was really crying and nearly falling down, she was gone.
However, about ten minutes later, she reappeared with three new guys and another girl in a denim miniskirt. All of them were clearly drunk beyond any level that would be considered "safe", but it wasn't until they started playing in the streets that they attracted a lot of attention. Then a big SUV nearly hit the non-cowboy-boots girl and her response started the entertainment for the evening.
She held her hand up to the SUV driver to stop, turned around, and pulled her skirt up to her stomach. And everyone in the vicinity got to see brightly colored thong and/or bare ass.
This led to a good fifteen-minute display of both girls' bare asses. The cowboy-boots one did a cartwheel and fell over. They both started stumbling in circles and holding their skirts up to their chests. I know that to some people, this would be funny, but to me, it was just plain disturbing. Worse still was this other table of people sitting nearby who were cracking up. We had been annoyed with them for quite some time, but to see three high school girls and one of their parents laughing at drunk, bare-butted girls was more than I could take. I was very, very happy when security showed up to haul them away.
At that point, we figured the evening's entertainment was over. We ate our dinners. We got a discount because of Lauren's mis-cooked food. The really cute manager came to our table to apologize for both the food and the naked ladies. All done. Good to go.
And then the table of annoying people left. And the mom, who had been drinking and smoking through her entire dinner -- as well as beforehand, while they were waiting -- stumbled out of the restaurant even more drunkenly than the cowboy boots girl, and it became visible to me, her husband, her daughter+friends, the other diners, and the huge crowd gathered on the corner that not only couldn't she walk, but she had also peed in her pants.
Actually, to be more precise, she had peed in her overalls.
I just don't know what to think. Who behaves that way? Who goes out in public and drinks until they've lost control of their behavior and their bodily functions? At a nice restaurant. Or on the sidewalk in a ridiculously trendy/expensive shopping area? Who does that kind of thing?
Anyway, we moved on with our night, and our weekend was still great, but I have to admit, I'm kind of in shock about this. It's ridiculous. I've seen college students with three-inch-thick judicial folders make better choices. Call me a wet blanket, but I'm so not impressed.
Posted to Miscellaneous at September 11, 2005 10:57 PM