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August 06, 2005
Where's a good therapist when you need one?
I think I spoke too soon about not enough going on over here. A lot has been going on, though most of it is not stuff that I really want to talk about here. I've been on an emotional rollercoaster regarding my future, all brought on by this potential job with Hillel. In short, I'm a mess. But I'm not ready to talk about it yet.
Today I ran into Meg M. downtown. She's someone I hope to get to know better this year. It's so strange how much the people I thought of as "my girls" have matured. They're not these clueless freshmen with unending energy anymore... They've got a lot more perspective and I'm really looking forward to getting to know them again as seniors. As long as I'm careful not to start comparing myself to them or thinking of myself as a student, it should be a lot of fun.
I'm also really homesick. It hit me suddenly today that as cool as the town of Oberlin can be, it's no Minneapolis. It was a busy day in town today because of some family fun festival and a classic car show, but it still wasn't the lakes. Black River is good for breakfast, but not as good as my favorite places at home. We took a nice drive, but it made me feel lonely and unsure of where I was. And there's no driving to see my parents and brothers and the dog when I need to feel like I'm home. And seeing Carly G. every day seems like something that happened SO long ago... I didn't think this homesickness would come on so quickly, but it has. Thankfully, it's not an all-consuming, the-world-is-coming-to-an-end kind of homesickness like I had in college.
Tomorrow Matt is coming over, and I'm thrilled. Even though he lives in Ohio, I think of him as part of my Bigger Life, the life I'll always have no matter where home is. He's someone I expect to know for a long time, and a person who I always feel safe around, even when I'm feeling crummy. Plus, I know Lauren has missed him terribly.
In the meantime, I'm going to finish the very last of the unpacking and watch Big Brother 6, and that will get me through the night.
Posted to Mental Health & Oberlin at August 6, 2005 06:09 PM